Warmest wishes for reaching another New Year to all of you! There was a time when I dreaded the New Year and was beset with anxiety wondering if I would develop a recurrence of cancer in the forthcoming year. I regret to say there were many years when I felt this way. Last year was my twentieth anniversary since first being diagnosed with cancer. Despite a recurrence in between I do regret worrying so much about it all. Yet I acknowledge that it is very difficult to harness feelings of anxiety, especially in the early days. If I was told I would be guaranteed twenty years back then I would have grabbed it with both hands. Nowadays I am living my life as if I am on bonus time!. Recently at my last Oncologist appointment I acknowledged the input of many factors in helping me to live this long. A combination of early diagnosis, access to treatment, my Oncologist and finally an element of good luck have helped me get this far. I strive to quell any anxiety in relation to cancer from now on and just live!
On the chronic pain front, I am still experiencing pain, unfortunately, despite two rounds of injections. Thankfully the second round gave me some relief and I was pain free for christmas. Unfortunately it is acting up again and I am not sure if it is worth trying this method any more. I am finding that chronic pain management is not an absolute science and involves trying a various or a combination of methods before any positive results can be felt. This is very frustrating for me as I like and need to feel control of any situation I am in.
Finally as I write today, it is the Feast of the Epiphany, Little Christmas or Nollaig na mBan (Women’s Christmas). The tradition in our house that this was the day that our Mother would finally rest after caring for and feeding us all over the Christmas holiday. In those days it was a Church holiday and we were home from school so I doubt very much if she had much time to herself but I remember with fondness and appreciation all that she did for our family over the years.
Until next time…