I was sitting at the washbasin of my hairdresser getting my hair washed (which I love!) and dreamily listening to the conversations going on all around me. I was nearly lulled to sleep when one thread of the conversation piqued my interest. They were talking about someone who was in palliative care and had been admitted to the hospice for end of life care. My washbasin neighbour was saying how when she visited her friend that all she kept saying was that she wanted to go home. Obviously I don’t know the full circumstances and needs of the ill person but I was overwhelmed by sadness thinking that the person will never go home again, that his/her wish is denied. It made me wonder on how many of us with a history of serious ill health have had “the conversation” with our family on how where we would like to be treated at the end of our lives?
I know it seems rather ghoulish especially on a beautiful Summer’s day but now is the time to have the conversation about our final wishes. When we are well enough to do so. My hubby and I had a little chat when we were driving up for my surgery a few years ago. It went something like this:
Me: ” Whatever happens with the results over the next few days, I want to die at home”
Hubby: “What are you talking about! You are not going to die!”
Me: “Just promise me if this is IT let me die at home… I know it will be difficult and I might be hard to manage in the last few days”
Hubby: ” You are hard to manage as it is!”
Me: “Ha, ha!… Promise though, won’t you? Please?”
Hubby: Sombrely ” Of course you can die at home”
I felt an immediate sense of relief when I voiced my wishes. We have never spoken much about death since but at least I know he will respect my wishes. Oh, and a wicker coffin too… I think my whole family know about that one!