A Month’s Mind is a tradition held after a period of about four weeks when someone has died. It consists of a mass, a visit to the graveside of the deceased and afterwards family and close friends go for a meal. It is usually another milestone for the bereaved and can often be as heartbreaking as the funeral itself. In the past when I heard of someone’s Months Mind I used think how fast the time has gone. Now, however, it feels like a year has passed since Mam died and yet strangely in an instant I may still forget that she is gone. This weekend our family will gather once more to celebrate and remember our dear mother.
This past week was busy, therefore, helping my Father get the house ready for visitors and the usual chores that needed to be done. I did find some time for myself and had a reflexology treatment in my local Cancer Support Centre. I can’t remember when I last had one or when I attended the Centre as I feel that they are so busy with new cases all the time. My reflexologist is lovely, she is trained in counselling and after having a chat for awhile, she works on the areas where I need it most. The nurse in the centre also sat with me afterwards and I came away feeling peaceful and relaxed… This feeling lasted a day or two and I haven’t had any huge teary sessions yet. I am not looking forward to Sunday but it is another rite of passage for our family and we will do it together.
I have visited Mam’s grave a good few times, just to keep it tidy and clear away any dead flowers but I feel nothing there. Just emptiness and a sense of loneliness.. Death awaits all of us.
Everywhere I look Christmas is all around us. Decorations are being put up in various houses and the kids are eager for us to put up ours. You have probably guessed how I am feeling about it all but I can’t be all doom and gloom, my mother would not expect that, especially for her adored grandchildren. So today we baked our cake finally and glorious smells of Christmas emanating through the house offered us some small reprieve.