I have been very busy organising a family function at home for the past couple of weeks. I am feeling very grateful but tired after a busy weekend. Three years ago I would not have had the stamina required to prepare a family occasion, I can acknowledge that now. I feel so happy and content that finally, finally life is returning to some semblance of normality. We were blessed with the weather on the day and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. What more could I have hoped for! I know I have some issues but hopefully once I can tackle them one at a time I feel like there is an end in sight.
I am due a visit to my Oncologist later this week. I don’t feel as anxious as I was last week when my nodes were enlarged. I am hoping that he can suggest something for the chronic pain I have since my surgery. I am not interested in being referred for further surgery as I am only now feeling nearly normal plus I am slow to recover from a general anaesthetic. It would mean more downtime to recover and that is not what I want right now.
I rang the breast health nurse last week to gather information for this visit. The only suggestion she had was to see the breast surgeon again which naturally has put me off that avenue. All I can do is wait and see what is suggested on Thursday. I have a notion that if there was a rehabilitation programme or some specialised physiotherapy for breast cancer patients that that plan would benefit me more. The nurse asked when I last had a mammogram. I couldn’t answer for certain and was surprised when a sensation of anxiety overcame me. This happened me before when I last went for a routine mammogram. There is obviously a deep anxiety remaining as that was the day when there was no doubt that the cancer had returned. I felt uneasy for the rest of the day and was sorry that I rang in the first place! All I can do is wait and see. Patience is certainly one trait that breast cancer patients must learn! In the meantime I am doing some stretching exercises and applying diclofenac gel to my shoulder, neck and back area.